By Kurl, an old internet buddy:
Twas the night before Christmas, Two Thousand and Five
All the kiddies would wonder: Will Santa Arrive?
For it seems that this season his presence is rare,
And he’s even been banned from our Towne Public Square.
Yes, the scene’s been the same for some 80-odd years,
There was Jolly Saint Nick, bringing toys and good cheer.
On that brilliant red fire truck’s engine a’roar,
Sat a rosy-cheeked Santa, the townsfolk adored.
But on this Christmas Eve, well that engine stood silent
For a court has now ruled we’re no longer compliant.
Yes that truck is municipal government owned,
Your religious event is forever postponed.
We have gotten complaints, and they’ve threatened to sue
In this letter addressed from the ACLU.
See, they find it offensive, these church-state displays
We shall make it expensive: YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR WAYS!
Ah the lefties guffawed, and they blithely opined:
This alleged "War on Christmas" is all in your mind.
On the contrary, well just the opposite’s true
An established theocracy’s what you pursue!
With bibles and churches, nativity scenes!
With crusades and witch burnings and Rosary Beads!
There’ll be mass crucifixion of all non-believers!
Intelligent Design will be forced on all teachers!
They will close down Los Vegas and ban Howard Stern,
Every textbook on science, collected and burned.
No displaying of cleavage, no Daisy Duke shorts
As Bible Belt Christians take over the courts.
What you read, what you hear, what you see they’ll determine
Every radio station, just Billy Graham sermons.
All abortions are banned, homosexuals stoned
Neither porno, nor Hip-Hop, nor Playboy condoned.
It’s the end of the world, all sane people agree
As we slowly regress to the 12th Century.
If you dare disagree, you’ll be drowned in the lake
Even murmur dissent, you’ll be burned at the stake.
When I was a child some four decades ago
All that evening we’d pray for a blanket of snow
Then the carolers knocked, they were braving the cold
Singing Come All Ye Faithful, and Joy To The World.
Later on in the evening, we’d tromp into town
Such a sea of humanity, spirits abound.
A nativity scene, and a tall Douglas Fir
Donned with seasonal lights, our emotions to stir!
Over Two Thousand years celebrating His birth,
For believers and others, a season of mirth.
In this country we celebrate freedoms we’ve earned,
To express unimpeded the Faith we have learned.
Now it seems we’ve been challenged, a cynical crew,
Who’d tear down our traditions, assuaging the few.
And they parse and they threaten, under cover of law
And they shout and they rant: WE DEMAND YOU WITHDRAW!
What they don’t understand about Christians and Jews,
About Muslims and Hindus, all colors and hues.
This great country was founded on freedom and faith,
Not division and fear, not resentment and hate.
So let’s spring to our feet, but before we take leave,
Let us celebrate Jesus this glorious eve
I heard Santa exclaim ‘ere he drove out of sight
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night"!