Chirac Announces Terms of French Surrender

Once again, after a valiant struggle, the French bow to the inevitable. It is said that Chirac bravely turned down an offer from President Bush to send five Marines to help put down the rioting [thanks to Sandy Shanks for forwarding that hilarious email].

Allons enfants de la Patrie...

From Agence France Presse:

Chirac described the unrest as "a crisis of meaning, a crisis of identity," saying it was the sign of a "deep malaise" in French society.

"I wish to tell the children from these difficult neighbourhoods, whatever their origins, that they are all sons and daughters of the republic," he said in a televised address.

The president announced the creation of a paid training and employment scheme for 50,000 youths from such areas and a series of measures to improve access to the workplace and to combat discrimination.

Yes, yes, we have all had our cheap fun mocking the French for their little foibles; their arrogance, hypocrisy, incompetence, greed, treachery, military pinheadedness, political stupidity, ingratitude, spreading stinky cheese on everything, illegal profiteering, collaboration, encouragement of Jerry Lewis, etc., but...what shall we do when there are no more French? The foot will be in the other shoe then, mes amis, and the most endearing aspect of our surly little quiche-eating surrender monkeys may be simply the fact that they were...French.

Oh well, we still have Québec...and, of course, in a pinch, Cajuns.