Olympic Events: Gay, Straight, or Metrosexual?

Two-Man Bobsled
The brakeman grabs the sled powerfully, finding his rythmn in the rapid pistoning of his heavily muscled thighs. He insinuates himself into the cockpit and buries his head against the clenched buttocks of the driver. GAY

Figure Skating
So gay it makes the stars of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy look like British soccer hooligans. GAY

Snowboarding
The emphasis on styling points moves a moderately dangerous sport into the metrosexual category. METROSEXUAL

Hockey
As straight as a slapshot to the crotch. STRAIGHT

Biathlon
Sort of straight. They could solidify their position by exchanging the pussy little .22s for something with more stopping power - 12 gauge deer slugs would do nicely. METROSEXUAL/STRAIGHT

Also posted at The Jawa Report.