Saturday, July 02, 2005

How Live 8 Could Be More Successful: a Modest Proposal

From Reuters
LONDON (Reuters) - A galaxy of rock stars staged the world's biggest live concert on Saturday to pressure rich nations into doing more for the poor.

People power rose up across four continents as Irish rocker Bob Geldof urged music fans at Live 8 gigs around the globe to cry "No more excuses" to the G8 leaders of the world's leading industrialized nations.

"Mahatma Gandhi freed a continent, Martin Luther King freed a people, Nelson Mandela freed a country. It does work. They will listen," Geldof said.
One can just smell the sincere fervor and true concern for the welfare of unfortunates oozing from the pores of each and every Live 8 celebrity participant. It metaphorically wafts from the page of each Live 8 news release like the earthy aroma of a blossoming beer fart.

Earlier this week, Live 8 organizers bemoaned what they perceived as the pitiful level of giving from the US government in the form of foreign aid.

But influencing the actions of national governments is a long and grueling process. I just know that Geldof and the other celebrities are completely and selflessly dedicated to their cause, and therefore, I'm offering them an alternative plan of action to get the massive amounts of aid needed to Live 8's intended beneficiaries as expeditiously as possible.

Here's what they need to do.

First, forget the whole concert idea. The logistics are tremendously expensive and simply deduct that much cash from the amount available to feed the unfortunates. As an example, several thousand dollars can be saved in bottled water for Bono's entourage. Multiply this type of savings by the number of celebs kindly donating their time with no thought whatsoever of the free publicity involved and Live 8 can amass a huge savings, all to be sent to Africa. Also, no rental and cleanup costs for the concert venues, no money paid out for concert security or First Class air fares and charter flights for organizers and performers. With the number of -oh-so-concerned celebrities involved in Live 8 I figure a minimum savings of $25 million. That's a lot of Care packages, amigo.

Second, the coup de grace as it were, instead of being asked to give up their valuable time flying a luxury junket to some God-forsaken concert venue, each celebrity will donate the amount of $10 million for the privilege of having his or her name engraved on a tasteful commemorative plate. The plates can then be sold to the "little people" for 10 or 15 bucks a pop, generating even more income for the downtrodden.

$10 million is little more than pocket change for stars like Geldof and Bono. Multiply it by about 100 beautiful people and we've got $1 billion for the poor! And there's no reason Geldof couldn't approach his glitterati buddies every year! Or even semi-annually!