Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Think of the Children

Recently, HarperCollins, publisher of the popular children's book, "Goodnight Moon", altered the photo of illustrator Clement Hurd to remove a cigarette from his right hand.

In these troubled times, I know HarperCollins' action has helped set my mind at ease. They have protected our children from this ghastly image of a man shortening his life (Hurd died before reaching his 81st birthday).

That's why, in order to protect the children, and as a public service, I'm offering these similarly altered photos to the public domain.

Here we see FDR's evil cigarette, with its enabling and jaunty holder, transformed into the benign image of a candy cane - much more suitable for impressionable young folk.

And this image of J.R.R. Tolkien represents the Lord of the Rings author's wonderful whimsical spirit as he puffs on his bubble pipe.

There's no reason that we can't send positive messages whilst erasing the negative, either.

Here, Winston Churchill's trademark cigar is replaced with a carrot, signifying that the British prime minister would have taken steps to curb his obesity, had the backward folk of the time only known how dangerous it was.