'White Slime' Sold to Americans as 'Food'

Concocted from rotting animal secretions that have been deliberately laced with bacteria, "White Slime" products are foisted upon unsuspecting Americans under a variety of trade names.

"White Slime" is also combined with otherwise wholesome fruits in the form of a binding matrix, holding the healthful food suspended in a thick, slippery solution that many believe gives off a noxious, sour odor.

In an apparent attempt to disguise the origins of this substance and market it, "White Slime" has been given the innocuous sounding sobriquet, "yogurt."

Drunken Amish Hooligans Ram Cop Car With Buggy

No, really:

Authorities in western New York say they've charged four young Amish adults with illegal possession of alcohol after their buggy collided with a police car responding to a report of a drinking party under way.

And that's not all:

Police say several other buggies fled the scene.

Bad boyz, bad boyz, watcha gonna do...

Godspeed, Andrew Breitbart

From Big Government:

With a terrible feeling of pain and loss we announce the passing of Andrew Breitbart.

Andrew passed away unexpectedly from natural causes shortly after midnight this morning in Los Angeles.

We have lost a husband, a father, a son, a brother, a dear friend, a patriot and a happy warrior.

Andrew lived boldly, so that we more timid souls would dare to live freely and fully, and fight for the fragile liberty he showed us how to love.

He fought the good fight with gusto and panache.