Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Are You Inadvertently Offensive?

Tiger used the "S" Word
No, not that one, though golfing phenom Tiger Woods has managed to get some ripe language on the air following wayward shots, this time Tiger offended through insensitivity.

Tiger called himself a "spaz" for his poor putting at the Masters Tournament. Damon Rose of the BBC (via the Drudge Report) discusses Tiger's offense against the sensibilities of sensitive people who are constantly offended.

Tiger has made his bed, and now must lie in it, but what can we do, as sensitive, thoughtful people, to be sure that we don't offend other sensitive, thoughtful people, even inadvertently?

Well for a start, I've prepared a guide explaining why some words are inherently offensive:

"some" - this word is offensive to pacifists because of its colloquial use by military personnel as a belligerent invitation to their enemies to be killed - "Get some".

"words" - the root of the problem. It's offensive to sensitive people to invoke the hurtful feelings that "words" can cause.

"are" - the present participle of the verb "to be" is deeply offensive to advocates of euthanasia and assisted suicide. Shakespeare started it with his infamous "to be or not to be" slur.

"inherently" - this word is a tool of elitists and oligarchs everywhere. It boldly states that some characteristics are fixed at birth, implying that right-thinking, sensitive individuals cannot rise above their "station" or "class".

"offensive" - calling someone or something "offensive" is an open attack, and hideously offensive to sensitive individuals.

Also posted at The Jawa Report.